A lot of the time, I find myself drawing a complete blank when I sit down to write a blog post. I sit here with so much in my head that I want to write about but can’t quite put it in to words… I should be able to write about a lot of things! I have been through a hell of a lot in the past 8 years; I could probably write a book!
I have this worry about being judged, I always have. People tell me all the time that I shouldn’t care what people think, but with me, that is easier said than done. I don’t know why I care so much, but I do.
I also feel that sometimes when I blog, I am being fake. I am putting on this happy, sunshiny demeanor when that is not necessarily how I am feeling at that moment. I guess I don’t want to bring anyone else’s mood down. I want people to read my blog and be happy! I don’t want them to walk away thinking to themselves that they aren’t going to come back, it’s all doom and gloom over there! (It’s actually not all doom and gloom, but you know what I’m saying…)
Anyway, in order to be true to myself and the people who kindly read what I have to say, I have decided that once a week, I am going to write about me. I am going to write about my story, about who I am. About why I am who I am and how I got here. I am going to open myself up to judgement.
Who knows, it might make me feel better and I could actually end up helping someone along the way. I could also find someone who feels the same way and maybe find a new perspective on things.
Watch this space.